Math: The only place where people can buy 48 watermelons and no one wonders why.
A farmer was having trouble with thefts from his watermelon patch. Finally, in desperation, he went to the local animal shelter and picked out a guard dog.
When his wife saw the shaggy animal, she asked what was going on.
“This,” the farmer explained proudly, “is my melon collie, baby.”
Q. What do you get if a watermelon truck loses its load of melons driving down the highway?
A. Vegetarian roadkill.
Q. What do young watermelons look forward to each summer?
A. John Cougar’s Melon Camp
Q. When do you “go” at red and “stop” at green?
A. When you’re eating watermelon!
A watermelon walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The barkeeper responds, “You gotta leave. We don’t want your type here.”
“Why?” asks the watermelon. “Is it because you can’t tell if I’m a fruit or a vegetable?”
“Nope,” the barkeeper says. “You just look seedy.”
A former provost of Pittsburgh’s Carnegie-Mellon University tells this story: It seems the provost and some other university folks were at a restaurant in the western U.S. Drinking coffee after dinner, they were debating whether people in that part of the country knew about their university. They decided to ask their waitress. “Have you ever heard of Carnegie-Mellon?” the provost asked. “Sure,” the waitress replied. “But I think it’s out of season.”